This Little Pig Went Wee, Wee, Wee All The Way HOME

My son comes home from public school every day and weeps. He stalls as long as possible getting ready so he won’t have to be there “as long”. We have been going through this since kindergarten and it’s only getting worse as the years go by. And, needless to say, kids are mean. So mean. Last night I held my son for over an hour while he sobbed.

My son has ADD. (Not adhd, that’s different) So naturally he has a really hard time at school anyway, and when he ends up with teachers that aren’t specialized, it is the worst possible scenario.

K-2 were so difficult. None of his teachers have been specialized and he’s a Type B personality so basically the public education system as a whole isn’t really a great fit for him. He learns best through hands-on learning;  he’s a mover. If he is allowed to do jumping jacks while reciting his multiplication tables, he knows more than I do. If he is forced to sit behind a desk all day and take a paper test, he can’t get past the 2s. I will never be convinced that all children learn the same way!, and yet we put all children in the same learning environment. But I’m starting to get off on a tangent.

He was in 3rd grade this year and had a specialized homeroom teacher. She is amazing and he has blossomed. Unfortunately, at this age they change classrooms/teachers for all subjects outside of the basics- p.e., art, music, technology, etc. None of those teachers are specialized. A child with ADD is very frustrating; the good Lord knows that I  know this. He gets yelled at all day by some of the teachers and he gets yelled at a lot by the other kids. He feels like “everyone hates me,” “I get yelled at all day everywhere I go,” and “I have no friends.”  And then, of course, when he gets in trouble at school (which is every damn day), we have to ground him at home. So the child truly cannot catch any respite. He hates going to school- dreads it even.

I only have one chance to raise this child the right way. I only have one chance, one childhood.

I think I’m going to homeschool him.
I can switch my hours from day to night so I can be with him to school him during the day and his dad would be with him at night. I’d make the exact same amount of money and still get to homeschool. We could even pick a Christian curriculum.

I’m doing a lot of research on this right now. I’d be open to any information any of you have. Where I live, there are homeschool groups, homeschool field trips, homeschool discounts, homeschool library resources, etc.
Please let me know if you have any information that could help!!! 

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Dear Father,

I need Your guidance and wisdom. I need You to give me the strength to defend what may be an unpopular choice with dignity and grace. I need You to fill me with the right knowledge to pass on to another generation. I need You to lead me to the right resources. I’m afraid and unsure of myself, Lord. Yet I believe that You will provide what is best for my son, Your little beloved.  If this is the wrong path God, please send me signs and I will obediently follow Your directions with a joyful heart…even if I disagree at the time. I ask that You give peace and comfort to my son; I ask that You heal his heart, as You are the only one that truly can. I love you God.

In Jesus Name, Amen.

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6 responses

  1. Oh wow…just bumped into your blog and read this heart breaking story. One of our boys had great difficulty in school and it was in fourth grade that we pulled him out and started homeschooling him. He went back to a Christian highschool in grade 8 and will be graduating next summer. Homeschooling was truly the best decision we made for that boy and we wish you all the best as you begin your homeschooling journey. You will receive negative feedback from people but remember this is your boy, and only you know him well…. Stay connected with other homeschooing moms for support for yourself and your son….may God bless you as you watch your son blossom in ways you never thought possible.

    From a mom of five boys…..

  2. Pingback: Public Education vs. Homeschooling – Why the fight??? | Future.Flying.Saucers

  3. Heard this story so many times – as no doubt other home educating parents have too. I heard about other home educators who have withdrawn special needs kids from schools and they’ve never looked back. Home educating is a natural and enduring way to show your child the world, give them the space and guidance to grow and mature, without the pressure schools put upon them. There are many facilities you’ll find on the web I’m sure and others to support you so you will not be alone. I just wanted to wish you blessings on your journey. I’m sure that it will be a joy for you and your son to find that there is a way to learn without unhappiness. Very best wishes. x

  4. I worked as a tutor for special needs kids (those with learning disabilities, dyslexia, ADD, and ADHD and so on). I can tell you that kids do not learn in the same ways, and our public schools are failing them because teachers are not trained to deal with learning disabilities at all. I was lucky that the principal at the Junior High I worked at had started this program, and thought it would make his students more successful, and I, having been trained and having worked as a tutor for college students with learning disabilities, was able to work with his program. All of my daughters have various learning disabilities from Dyslexia, to ADD, to ADHD. All have problems with learning just from books and sitting and writing, but they also suffer in a classroom atmosphere because there are too many distractions, and many times too much chaos, plus there is no one on one teaching. I have homeschooled 4 of the 5 girls for this reason. It allows them to stand when they need to, and there are less distractions. But the best thing is that I can use visual hands on learning experiences. I taught my youngest how to do multiplication using beans and cups. I can take her on field trips at any time to let her have visual and hands on experiences for science, and history. I can use art projects to teach things as well. I’ve found that students with learning disabilities are more right brain creative learners than the average student who learns with their logical left brain. My youngest daughter has blossomed under homeschooling, isn’t bullied anymore or treated like she is stupid by teachers. Since their is evidence that more than half of public schools do have some sort of learning disability now, the school systems should start requiring that all teachers get learning disability teacher training. Keep on fighting for your son! Tell him he is not stupid, he is just a right brain learner that obviously his teachers aren’t trained to teach. Your support and love will get him through this.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your personal story with me!! After awhile one starts to feel like she is alone in these things. It makes my heart sing to hear that your children have done well!! The more success stories I hear, the more I’m convinced that the children aren’t what’s “broken”–but too many people are afraid to stand up to a system that has been in place for so (too) long. It also seems to be these same people who make the snide remarks about how children need to be “socialized” — well, in just 3 grades my son has experienced enough of this ‘socialization’ to last a lifetime. My worst fear is that I’m not knowledgeable enough to make sure he really gets what he needs. For example, my math skills are ridiculously poor. I don’t want to fail him the way the system has. But the Lord has still given me a peace in my heart every time the subject of homeschooling comes up. Thank you for sharing with me and especially with some really good ideas! (beans and cups!)

      • I know that I was trained to deal with children with special needs, but the truth is that it was no different than working with my own children who were special needs. There are homeschool support groups in most areas of the country, some through churches like mine where they get to be with other kids for music and physical education. A program like this would connect you with other parents who may be willing to teach your child math while you teach their child from your strengths. Plus their are online programs and computer programs to use to teach as well. A site called Currclick has curriculem at low fees and some for free, much is geared towards elementary age and is written by people who have been homeschooling for a long time, and know how to keep a child’s interest even those who have learning disabilities. Homeschool.com has a mentoring program where parents can get a mentor to help them through their homeschooling experience. I know many parents who homeschool because of their child’s learning disability and have found that it allows their ADD and ADHD child the chance to get a break when they are getting frustrated. You structure their learning experience to take advantage of their good moments, and their learning abilities. There are times it is hard, and those days finding art projects or building projects that teach about what they are learning will get you through those days. For instance…when my daughter is having that day, I let her write on her blog to practice typing and english. Or we take a nature walk for P.E. and Science. She struggles at math, so on those days I find ways to teach her math in art, or building, or practice multiplication with beans, and even work on geometry by making a quilt or working with clay. It makes her proud of even her accomplishments on the bad days. You also have many homeschooling moms who blog who have ideas on their blogs that you can implement. If you have a Best Buy, they have computer programs that teach many subjects from Pre-school to 12th grades. There will be days of blessings when you see the light go on in their head and you know they got it…and have mastered a new principle.

"For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." (Matthew 18:20)

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